the jerk, a wash of clarity

So the jerk is a movie, and it is also what I feel like right now. After a sleepless night and an emotional tummyache all day, I have realized that I have been a little too hard on Guy (see post below). Granted, my feelings have been hurt too, not necessarily by the decisions that have been made, but by lack of communication and some actions. I am kind of tough, but I did take a blow to the heart when I tried to be a friend and got kind of ignored in return. But that is no reason for me to be mean. I just reacted and post below is simply a result of that. To my readers: please realize it is not a comprehensive look at the situation, but one person's reaction and impression of what was going on. The story is still incomplete, note the dead phone batteries, therefore anticipate clarity and hopefully a more objective conclusion.

I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, I wish I was more discerning, I wish things hadn't gotten so far out of proportion. All this wishing does nothing though, I have to be willing to do something about it. This whole thing just spun off into something increasingly volitale. I want to understand where the person is coming from. Enter communication. I will work on that, and I hope he will be receptive. I should be thankful for this uniquely dynamic friendship in a world of complacency. Despite the recent miscommunications, it is still something I want to be involved in. It is different and I think thats just what I need. (I hope all of you started singng "Just what I needed" by The Cars. If not, shame on you!) I also need a good hug and maybe some Elvis.

Hopefully all my emotions will calm down a little, everything is haywire. A little Grey Street and Hide and Seek get me through the day. Thank you DMB for words of passion and dispassion leading to serious tension. So empty but so completely full. I must get out. Thank you Imogen for words and a sound that make me feel like I am being pushed around by a crowd but seeing everything in slow motion.

That is all the thanks I have right now.