please don't crazy if i tell you the truth

"Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you." The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis

I sought some words of wisdom this evening and I kept coming back to this. It fits well right now. There is much going on, and in everything I find there is absolutely nothing. I feel an incredibly strong pull right now, or maybe it is a push, toward something, and I'm not sure how to execute what I feel like I'm supposed to be or whatever. (I know that probably makes no sense) It will come, or I will go to it--that might be the more apropos phrasing. I do not know. I should probably just put faith in doing things the way I am and just keep on going. I just know what I feel like I should be doing and I am not exactly sure I am getting it done. Like I said I should just put faith in the fact that what I'm doing is what is right for right now. I'm not one of those people who has ever really felt "put" in a place by God. I've never gone anywhere or done anything becuase I felt like God was pointing my life in that direction. I've just figured out that I fit there after the fact. Not sure I would quite call that blind faith, but I suppose I did just put faith in the fact that I was getting somewhere or doing something at all.

I needed words of wisdom and I thought I would share. They gave me some comfort, like a hug or a smile (the kind without teeth, the kind that you see in someone's eyes more than on their face), a reminder, a refocus to what I'm ultimately seeking. Having perception of self through spiritual identity. In a nutshell. So basic, yet so easily lost. Sometimes you don't even realize that you have lost it. It is something that has been weighing me down pretty heavily for awhile now. I couldn't figure out what it was, then came the proverbial anvil. A few posts ago I talked about a priority list--this is at the top.

Lewis just happens to be more concise, his 2 lines to my 20.....

I'm listening to the thunder.

p.s. I was really excited about the banana/coconut frappuccino at starbucks...vanilla still wins