if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

i am having happy days. and i like that.
there are some people who can tell when i'm faking it.
but i really haven't been faking it, i've been happy.
who knows why?
i not very sure.
anticipation? :)

is it true that there are just some things that are better left unsaid? and unknown for that matter?
ignorance can be bliss, although, perspective changes with knowledge so i guess it is a give and take type thing.
i believe i have been lacking perspective.
i've been tried and found wanting--to steal a famous line.

this weekend got me to thikning:
the lack of saying or doing things causes frustration for me and just about everybody else on the planet probably.
as does knowledge.
as does over-reaction.
as does missing.
as does knowing that you aren't someone's person--to steal from grey's
there is probably someone out there who is completely apathetic to the people around them, i'm sure, but i don't know that person. although it might be interesting to meet them.
you know, sometimes people are there for you, and sometimes you are there for them, when do you get to be "there for each other?" you probably always are really, that was a dumb question, i guess you just don't always need each other in the same way at the same time?
i don't like shallow, except in swimming pools.
comfort zones are so funny.

the grey's anatomy season finale was on tonight.
it was great. sad, but also happy, but great.
i like the monologues in grey's. they speak to me. i'm a sucker for the metaphors i guess. eh.
ironically they used the fight or flight principle.
flight is obviously the easier choice of the two, unless you get chased down, ha...but i've come to the conclusion that i fight most of the time.
i'm not a very good flee-er. but i will admit i like it that way. i like to earn things, i like to work for what i get, even though i don't have to sometimes.
i'm not very good at knowing when to quit.
speaking of sometimes: sometimes i just want to yell at people, and i don't really yell. sometimes i just want to grab them by the shoulders and look them in the eye and say whats going on. (usually while i'm driving or in line at the grocery store or walking around the mall.....haha) okay i don't want to yell at anyone, i guess i just want to feel like they are listening. really listening. and being concientious.
i hope people know i'm really listening.

i thought george was profound this evening, haha, or at least his script writers were: "just becuase you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much." he's right. sometimes you just can't. i have empathy for george or whoever wrote the script.

there i go getting in too far again, sorry. i'll stick with the short weird stories.
i'm tired of watching tv.
i just want to go sit outside and talk and sit and stand and stare.
i feel like i'm under some sort of curfew.
i think i will play golf on wednesday.