stab my back

despite the omnious entry title, i'm really fairly optimistic about things right now.
i took a "getaway" and i feel better.
for the most part.
went to the planetarium this evening, that was silly and fun. it was more on a 4th grade education level, but i thought it was cool anyways.
crazy storm tonight. amazing though. great to watch. everything about it was pretty dang cool.

you know when you get that funny feeling that people just aren't being straight with you?
maybe for "good" reasons, maybe for reasons you'll understand later, but that doesn't make that weird feeling any easier. it is still just as unsettling.
part of me is still screaming "tell me the whole truth."
the rest of me is whispering "nobody has to actually do that."

i have decided after talking to a friend of mine, that the worst feeling i could experience right now (right now at this point in my life this feeling is the hardest to experience) is the feeling of being replaced.
the feeling of being disposable.
that feeling is completely and totally awful.
i have a little inkling of that.
i sure hope i don't make anyone feel that way.
booooooooo to that.

do you ever think "you are completely and totally missing the point?" or "i am completely and totally missing the point?" yeah, me too.

unfortunately i don't have work this week.
therefore my already overly actively imagination will want to go crazy.
i can't let it.
help keep me busy, okay? please?

that is all. i promise to deliver something more mundane next time.