a fool for lesser things

Well I spent the weekend (Saturday-early Tuesday morning) in Austin and it was great fun. I loved it. I got there on Saturday evening and went to some shows at Emo's. It was good, I will write more about them later, I'm bored beyond the point of extensive writing right now. Which is my own fault because I took a long nap this afternoon/evening so I'm currently wide awake.

Despite the fact that I woke up at 5:00 a.m. after tossing and turning all night, I feel suprisingly chipper. Not exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed, but somewhere remotely close. Maybe it is becuase I had a remarkably good weekend conisdering the serious amount of awkward situations I managed to put myself in . Namely last night. When multiple people you have any sort of relationship history with are in the same room, one is bound to feel awkward. And it seemed like they did at first, but then after the show when I spoke with them again it was better, and I was relieved. It was weird though becuase I hadn't seen said person probably in about 6-8 months, and I really was interested in what was going on in their life, but you could tell the person felt extremely uncomfortable at first. Other than that I got to see some old friends and some new friends I hadn't seen in awhile either, which was great. I wish I'd had the opportunity to talk to the latter a little more, but we live in the same town, so that is a little more likely to happen again. But seeing old friends from freshman year was nice. Very nice.

So I came back to Abilene with a positive outlook on things. Or maybe just a content outlook. I feel a little more steady where I am at with particular relationships and I like that. Granted there is always a little uncertainity, but it is nice for the steadiness to come in every once in awhile and give me some balance. Its feeling more balance, and I feel like things are going back to normal. Whatever that might be.

I was offered a job in Abilene last week. I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. I'm thinking I'm leaning towards no. It would be a great first job (marketing and PR for a non-profit), but when push comes to shove, I feel itchy to get out of town. I'm here until March with the job I have now, but it has just been difficult to think about turning down a job that 1. I didn't apply for, they pursued me; 2. they offered to me and are being completely flexible and understanding. It is hard to know what to do. Do I take it and learn to like it even though I'm thinking it might not be a very good fit for me, I think I could work there, but I'm not sure I'm as passionate about it as I should be, and I think that can be a disservice, especially in a non-profit organization. At the same time, I got offered a job, that is a big deal, especially since I'm looking to be fully employed. I don't want to take it and kick myself if I find something better, but I don't want to not take it only to hate life when I can't find anything else in the cities I'm looking at. But I am glad that my first post-graduation interviewing process was positive, although it might have been nice to have a bad one so they could only get better from there. I welcome your insight.

In the meantime, it is time for nocturnal static, I mean state.