never wanted to be your dancing shoes

bored silly.
watched the oc and audibly said "NO!" at the end.
took a field trip to wal-mart to pass some time.
they don't sell journals at wal-mart.
felt let down for some reason, still haven't figured out why.
ran until it hurt; it still hurts.
wanted to be around you; wanted you to want to be around me.
need a hug.
need a smoke.
need a movie.
heard the sexy song again and wondered if i was sexy too;
thought about how sexy is a funny word and a little bit taboo. (just call me dr. seuss)
wanted to ask you questions; wanted you to ask me questions.
wondered why neither party doesn't just walk away.
thought about why; didn't come up with anything.
typed a bunch of incomplete sentences.
oy.
wanted to hear what you always say to me when stuff happens.
thought about the super bowl.
can't figure out why i wanted so much today.
remembered i can't always have what i want when i want it.
felt dumb for wanting in the first place.
feel dumber for writing all of this.
told myself i was being silly.
said a little prayer.
i wish it wasn't so quiet in here.