show me, show me, show me

Poor West Texas and the Panhandle. Burning, burning, burning. I drove up to Lubbock today to visit my Grandmother. Though the fires haven't really reached Lubbock (still a bit north of here), there just seemed to be a heaviness in the sky. On the news they were talking about thousands of livestock burning (if I were feeling distasteful I might insert a joke about cooking meat right here, but that seems a little mean-spirited and a bit too easy. Poor cows.)

There was a show on the History Channel last night about how the chariots of fire that carried Elijah to heaven might have been UFOs. Imagine a priest saying that. Oh and how the pillar of fire that led Moses and the Israelites through the desert at night was also a form of alien activity.

Went to the driving range today. Couldn't hit the broadside of a barn had it been 40 ft. away. Well, okay so it wasn't that bad. Really, I promise, it wasn't, but I felt like it a few times. Just call me Captain Hook (get it??). Bad joke I'm sorry, but that really more true. I would like to watch Hook. Can I borrow it from you? I got better though, and I didn't think it was really half bad considering I hadn't picked up a club in about a year and a half. So I got to break in my new clubs a little, and now I have a new hobby. Anyone fore a trip to the driving range with me?

I'm thirsty and I need a band-aid.

The Big Dance begins tomorrow. Make your picks.

Paramecium brain.
Near-sighted gynecologist.
Hemorrhodial suck naval.