can't tell the truth in a house of lies

Today has been ALLLLLLLLL over the place.
But I'm thinking it is okay. Or at least it will be okay at some point. I think we are going to just be.

Here is what I think:
Today I felt so incredibly lost. I thought I had some things figured out, and what I had figured out hasn't changed, but the capacity in which those things are applied is just taking a little tweaking. Sigh. Emotionally strung out. This week has been trying on my spirit. I have felt excited, deprived, sad, happy, needed, completely unwanted, silly, content, uncomfortable, and just plain weird. I have seen potential for great things, and oddly enough I don't think that has gone away. Maybe that is a bold statement, and not everyone will understand how to take that, but just ask me if you want to know, okay? For some reason I was really popular tonight, I got a lot of phone calls. People checking on me, I have friends who care. Couldn't ask for more really. Today I've done a lot of thinking about letting God do his thing in my life and what that means for me personally. Timing is pretty crucial, huh? Things are going on that I don't understand, but I don't have to. I want to just be, I want to just smile, and I want to just see what will happen. Lets do that. Why do people choose to hold on with such veracity? I mean when everything is telling them to let go and they just can't seem to shake it for some reason, something keeps them there, something makes them want to stay involved anyway they can. Sometimes I wish I understood why, but I think if we put our trust in the right place we will end up in the right place. Maybe we hold on to things not only becuase we want to but becuase we feel like that is where we are being put. I mean why else would we hold on? (that was a big random mess of thought vomit...excuse it if it doesn't make sense) I thought today was going to end with some more tears, and there have been plenty of those today, but I got some reassurance. From unexpected places, from sort of unexpected people. Pleasant suprises are so great. I think it was good. Thank you. Thank me. Ha. Back to the basics. Like I said a few weeks ago, we gotta go back to the basics. Keep it simple. Keep it light. Just keep caring, please.

So there are a few things. Also, took the post-GRE-prep-course practice test tonight and got a great math score. I was SO excited. Dear Andrea Kelley made me Death by Chocolate Explosion, and I binged. Funny how things like that can help. My brain is fried. Yeck.

Thats all I feel I can say right now. That is all.

Oh and a Happy Birthday to Camille and Rosalyn Perry!

"What does it matter what anybody thinks? Most people don't think."--Wonderboys

Watching: I wish I was watching 24.