another day, another dime

More like another dime spent. But eh. Soon enough I'll be in the full-time swing of things and it will be gravy.

I should have done more today, but I did not. I guess that is what tomorrow is for.

I stayed up WAY too late last night, but it was okay becuase I had a giant funny conversation with an old friend. I laughed a whole whole lot.

Recently I've felt a little like I've had some indirect hits thrown in my general direction. Like when someone says something in an indirect way in order to make a point with you. And these instances have come from the most unusual places. Places I NEVER expected. I probably shouldn't even think twice about that happening; I'm probably being a little self-absorbed. Whatever man. Mostly it just annoys me. I've also felt as if I'm being humored in some ways, now that a huge life-changing event is occuring in my life. Which is me being insecure more than anything--I hope, but part of me thinks it is me being able to see through the BS. I have felt naieve, like I should see past an "act" if there is an act, like I should be able to see past the wrapping and understand something for what it really is. It is just disconcerting begin to think that you're being played for a fool. Although it is worse not being able to just believe when you really really want to, and you know you probably should, and so then I just feel suspicious of people. Which is stupid and really pretty ridiculous the more I think about it. I can't stand feeling like that, and I know I should just ignore it and give the benefit of the doubt like I always have. But I give the benefit of the doubt and sometimes get slapped in the face and that sucks butt. That annoys me too. Anyways, I just have to take what is said directly to me, and people's actions as the truth. I like living life better than way anyways. I hate feeling like I'm looking over my shoulder expecting someone to decieve me/manipulate me/lie to me/be hateful/let me down. What a miserable existence. I care to have no part in it. That was all random and weird, but something I thought of when I was driving today, so I shared. Eh.

I want to go to sleep early tonight, but I'm not tired at all right now. Hitchell Molt and I finished disc 4 of season 2 of 24 tonight and George Mason died, but he went down with the plane and the nuke so Jack Bauer got to live. Two really good episodes, both rather emotional for 24, but not overly sappy, so it wasn't cheesy really. I liked George and was sad to see him go, but this leaves us with Tony in charge of CTU, and I like him too.

The past two days have been COMPLETELY weird. Tuesday I managed to stick my foot in my mouth big time. I felt like such an idiot. I did my apologizing and I think I made things right. I probably overcompensated a little, but I just felt like a huge dummy and felt really bad about it. Then yesterday....oh yesterday. I should have just sought shelter. I annoyed someone, somewhere and my bad karma was coming back around. Maybe it was from me being a moron on Tuesday. I had some trash in my car (straw wrappers, that sort of thing) and I was leaving to go to the bank and so I just stopped by the dumpster in the apartment parking lot. I toss my stuff in there and step inside my car and see a guy come up to the dumpster and throw in a gun. Yes a GUN. Then he just turned around and walked away, me sitting there the whole time. So I drove off, but curiosity got the best of me and I circled the apartment complex and came back to the dumpster, found something else in my car to throw away and walked over there. SURE ENOUGH, I look in and lying on top is a .177 caliber handgun. So of course I go into CSI mode and use the paper in my hand to pick it up and yup, it was real. I dropped it a little freaked out and it fell to the bottom of the dumpster. But seriously, WHO DOES THAT???? Then I drove through and got some food and was going to sit at the park and eat, so I go to the park and see a firetruck and an ambulance and they are putting someone in the back of the ambulance. Then I went to the mall and was looking at comforters and the entires shelf fell down and everything went everywhere. Seriously.

Reading: The Debutante Divorcee, by Plum Sykes