it ain't over till the fat lady sings

I heard "Hangin' Tough" on the radio today. The title of this blog is dedicated to The New Kids on the Block. The quasi rapping of the song intermittent with laughter and "oooooh o0000h oooooh oh oh. we're rough!" is about all you could heard for three and a half minutes while I was driving. It was so great. I'm pretty sure that made my day.

Housesitting is over. I sure sat well. Ugh. I think I could probably turn that into a profession (a very unhealthy one), although I told my parents tonight that I was going to become a pirate and sail the open seas instead of referring to myself as unemployed. Think how much better that looks on a resume, instead of a gaping amount of time with no employment you have "world travel." I mean if you can swashbukcle okay then there has got to be pretty substantial room for advancement in piracy. Just a thought.

I'm pretty proud of the way I have handled myself recently. This sounds completely arrogant, I know, but go with me for a minute. I think in the recent past, I have not handled my emotions very well. I know I haven't--making life more complicated. In the past few weeks I have attempted to take a more proactive approach to addressing problems/situations/emotions/gastrointestinal issues (kidding about the last one). There is still work to be done I think, but I've made some progress in some areas where I had been lacking before. Which is nice I suppose. I am trying to take some things with a grain of salt, which creates a bit of a tension, for me especially when I feel that there should be more of a mutual accountability for words/actions/emotions/whatever, but I'm searching out the balance, and I think that has become the more important issue. Not me worrying about what is "supposed" to go on so much as me taking steps to make sure that I'm holding up my end of the deal. Even though I'm not exactly sure what my job description is sometimes. This sounds weird, but I think I'm trying to care less. Okay, not care less per se but care about the things that matter. And sometimes it takes something crazy weird to make you have a "come to Jesus" moment, but then wrinkly things start getting ironed out okay. And maybe it is more like your favorite white linen skirt that will never NOT have wrinkles becuase that is just what linen does, but you finally think "it is going to be okay" and you can hear that and really believe it, and you feel a little wary because you want to believe it; you've wanted to believe it for awhile, and tried but it always turned out more wrinkly and yuck so you never really did, but you do now. You are just pretty sure believing it is what you should do, and that is all you can do and you just trust that you are doing the best you can. All of that to say I feel productivity in my life and I am thankful for it, it is an answered prayer really.

I don't know where that came from. :) That paragraph made me thirsty.

Reading: The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis