what is it about love that makes us so stupid?

I'll take a mulligan. Thanks. Now that we have that out of the way...

Today was one of the most emotional wracking days I've had since I left Abilene. Come to think of it, the past two days have been a bit trying. I know my past few entries have been a bit introspective, but what can you do? If you don't want to read it, you don't have to, okay? Okay. Now that we have that out in the open...today is Saturday. I am currently sitting on the couch at Kylie and Eric's house watching ABC Family and dog-sitting.

I feel like I got quite a few things accomplished today, but I have been in a daze--just going through the motions really. Last night a friend told me they were disappointed. I was so sad. It made my heart hurt; it was a fact I knew myself, but it is just different when someone else who knows you on a unique level tells you that. I know they weren't trying to hurt my feelings, just being honest, but it just reiterated some thoughts I've been having, and it made me miss the type of reality checks and tough love kind of relationship that I have with that friend.

This morning one of my very dearest friends told me he will be leaving for Baghdad in three weeks. I just sat on the floor and cried. I haven't talked with him in a few weeks, but I imagine I will be talking with him a few times before he leaves. I'm just not sure what I'm "supposed" to think or whatever.

Then some tentative plans for this evening were cancelled due to some circumstances. It is a weird situation, and I'd rather not get into it, but there was a conversation that I think really needed to happen; maybe that is just my opinion though, when I should just move on. Who knows. So that was slightly disappointing I guess, but more frustrating. It'll get worked out, I know.

Then there is this other thing that I just feel completely stupid about. Yeah. Stupid. I'm a stupid girl. I think one thing and say it; I make myself vulnerable and with that vulnerability eventually comes the realization that I'm just caught up in something that may be complete nonesense. It is nonesensical really, nothing about it makes any sort of sense, or has any kind of semblance to any sort of reality. But is that really an accurate reflection of the situation? If there is no relevance, why is it happening? Is there something in those circumstances worth paying serious attention to?

I realized today what I want. Not sure if it is the same thing as what I need, but sometimes the two align right? It is storming outside. ut I think there are a few ways to accomplish both things, I guess it will just be a suprise as to which way/when/how/if it all happens. Because sometimes we get what we want/need in unexpected ways.

There is a new show coming on ABC this fall called Six Degrees. It is about the statistic that any one person is connected to any one other person through six other people at most. I love things like that. That is the part of life that fascinates me the most, who we are, who we know, and how each person who comes in and out of our lives has an effect on us. Maybe that is why I have been thinking so much about all of the above circumstances. Eh, next time I will think less, I will make a list or something, or just give a play by play of my day. Something really regular like that. Regular like undiet Coke. It is storming bigger now. Please come share the storm with me. Tomorrow it will be Sunday, my favorite day for afternoon movies with you.

Watching: Under the Tuscan Sun