getting bored on a peavy amp in 1984

i've neglected my blog. though i don't have much to say. i just have a few thoughts for today, then i've got to do some work. i find that even when i have a "game plan" i don't follow it. i find myself getting caught up even when i'm trying to be overly cautious. why is that? i guess just because it can be fun and easy and a great distraction from the mundane. and much of the time we get caught up in things we enjoy, things that we like spending time doing, seeing, things that flatter us, things that make us feel special, needed, etc. i just find it interesting. when do you stop fighting and get caught up? i think i used to be good at discerning that, but i'm not sure as of late. i'm either one extreme or the other it seems. i don't think i like that. i mean i'm doing okay right now, but i'm pretty sure it is going to catch up with me sooner than later. it always does huh? or i think i'm doing okay, and i find myself getting caught up and have to reel myself back in again. i don't know what it is...

anyways, i need to drink a bunch of water. grey's anatomy premeires tonight, as does the office!!!! who else is excited. but i'm going to have to tape one of them. either that or just get the office off itunes tomorrow.

i wish i was napping. i might do that when i get home for a few minutes. i super excited about some things this week. that is nice.

i was just asking

MB said I needed to write a blog. So here I am. Something I have been lately is fickle. I think I am more fickle all of the time than what I realize. I have always described it as restlessness, and I guess it is sort of the same, but then again I don't know.

Thus far, Sunday to right now, this week has been kinda funny. Honestly I would like to zone out right about now. I feel like I'm all over the place, but not in a super desperate kind of way. 've had some suprises and comfort has come from unexpected places. I'm not even sure it is really comfort, but I'm not sure how else to talk about it. So there you go.

Sometimes I wonder how we can become so confident and wrapped up in ourselves. I know I'm totally guilty of it too, but do you ever want to look at someone and say "Get over yourself." ?Maybe they would say it back. Probably. We are always so ready to assume that everything is about us, concerns us, needs our attention. But then again I often have a hard time taking things at face value, so maybe not everyone is wrapped up in themselves after all. I will think about it that way, I'd rather give humanity the benefit of the doubt.

I'm feeling a bit anxious about the remainder of the week. It will be fine. But I'm pretty excited because ACL is this weekend and I'm going. I'm excited to be going to Texas and excited to be going to Austin. It should be fun, I'm really looking forward to it. I miss Texas. I miss my friends. I miss some other things too. The honeymoon period is wearing off and the day to day is setting in. I've got to make my adventures I guess; put myself in cool-type situations. Or something like that. One of these days I'll find my groove.

Two things before I go. I'm listening to the new John Mayer CD and I like it. It is a different sound and one that I like. Second, there is a guy who works in the marketing department here who walks down the hall like Mussolini. He just walked by and I felt like I needed to salute him or something.

Listening, Continuum, John Mayer

oh, the places you (or i) will go

Saturday night, 11:00 p.m. and I am writing a blog. Cool. :) Today was a good Saturday. Didn't do a whole, whole bunch, but that can be nice. I helped Kylie out with a bridal shower this morning, then came home and went back to sleep for a few, okay maybe three hours. Whoops. Then I went to Kylie's and we watched ridiculous episodes of Next, the UT/OSU game, ate spaghetti-o's and did some work.

What a day. I just got home and made myself a to-do list for tomorrow. The to-do list can have a fascinating presence in my life. Without it, I function okay, but with it, I function a heck of a lot better. The sad part is, I have to also put time goals on each task in order to keep myself in line. This self-imposed schedule really does help me get things done. If I'm feeling really ambitious I'll even put time restrictions on meals, showering, or random tasks like paying bills or going to the store. Scary, yes, but you should see my list for tomorrow. It is a little over-whelming, so I'm going to start some of it this evening.

Errrrg, I guess that's all I have to share. I had some crrrraaaaazy dreams during that nap today. They were pretty funny. I need to vacuum.

Watching: Can't Hardly Wait

just the same as the last time

I feel like I got things done at work today, which was nice. Sometimes I am working and I feel like I'm just a hamster running on a wheel, but on days like today, I really like coming away from work feeling like I've accomplished something. In my job it always sees there is something hanging over your head. Projects seem to always be "open," at least none of mine have been closed yet, but I'm close on a few. Very close.

Tomorrow is Friday, the end of the week, and I like that. I like short weeks, or maybe I just like the weekends. Maybe a little bit of both. I refuse to be unproductive this weekend, it is going to be awesome. Slightly boring you might ask, okay, maybe a little, BUT don't worry, my home and I will feel great because of it. Get ready.

So this one time today I had this funny realization, and I was like "Oh man, not again." :) But it is okay, it is something that feels so completely unreachable, that it probably doesn't even matter. Okay, so maybe not unreachable, but possibly unrealistic. Yeah, unreachable isn't accurate, that makes me seem inadequate, and I don't feel that way; it is just slightly unrealistic right now. Maybe ever. I don't really know. This is my attempt at just putting faith somewhere other than in myself and letting love ride, if you will. It is slightly amusing I guess, it is something I hadn't thought of ever considering. And it is probably one of those things that will pass, I'm actually not sure what I'll do if it doesn't. Just something to think or not thing about really. This was vague, sorry, just let your imagination run wild.

I miss things, again. But it is okay, what can you do? Especially if things don't miss you back. And things can't always miss you back anyways.

Listening: Agaetis Byrjun, Sigur Ros

london fog

The Oklahoma weather has improved considerably throughout the past two weeks. There will still be some days that are out of control hot, but for the most part it has been around 85 and sunny. I like it. It makes me wish there was a window in my office though.

Yesterday was Tuesday, but it sure felt like a Monday. I started feeling super bad at work so I left at 3 and went home. I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess it is my allergies. I went home and slept for a little bit then went to the store and was in bed again before too long. I tried Tylenol p.m. to get rid of my headache and help me sleep, and it helped a lot, but I feel a bit groggy this morning. My head is just heavy and my eyes feel weighted down. Hopefully I'll snap out of it before lunch. Ha. I already feel better than I did yesterday though, so that is good.

At our staff meeting yesterday we took a field trip to Sonic. But we had to wear the shoes of the person who was sitting to the left of us in staff meeting. It was pretty funny, a little cheesy, but an overall fun motivational type thing. The activity wasn't supposed to symbolize walking in the shoes of one of our peers at Tate, but walking in the shoes of one of our authors. If my head wasn't so fuzzy, therefore making typing a little difficult, I would go into it, but just not right now.

Bleh. My toes are freezing right now. Ummm, okay I don't have anything else to share. I'm coming out of my fog so that means I need to work. I wish I had something sort of exciting to share, but I've got nothing thus far. Maybe later today something super cool will happen.

Listening: Further Seems Forever, The Moon is Down

here we are now, entertain us

What is it with children? I teach dance classes, as everyone probably knows. This week was good, but horrible at the same time. The pre-schoolers were great, the middle school and high schoolers were great, the 7-10 year olds...sucked.

Like this hippo here, she looks kinda sweet, but see that glint in her eye? Yeah thats tween-age bratiness at its finest. That glint is the one that compels her to roll all over the floor, stick her hands in her mouth, complain incessantly about the wedgie her leotard is giving her, ask 40 times if she can go to the bathroom, and gives her the right to feel like she doesn't have to do what the rest of the class is doing becuase she either doesn't have an attention span longer than eight seconds or she simply thinks she can get away with not participating (knowing full well her parents are paying good money for her to be there). Crazy second graders. "When are we going to be done???" Seriously, we're done when we're done, get your hands out of your mouth and stop hanging from the bar. It is not my job to entertain you, it is my job to teach you. If you want to be entertained go home. Dance is fun, yes, but you are learning skills, so stop being such a jerk. I never thought second graders could be jerks, but a few of them are. Ha.

Today is Friday, thank goodness. After a horrendous deadline at work, September has begun, and hopefully with that will come some relief in the form of a smaller word count. That would make me a happy person. I got a call from the dentist this morning (in Abilene) reminding me of my appointment. I should probably reschedule that. I really like my dentist in Abilene (despite the cavity experiences in March) and I need a good haircut anyways--I haven't found a hair place here that I like--so it looks like I'll be in Abilene sooner than I expected. Who knows when that will be though. This is me thinking in type...

Clarification from last time: The "drama" in my life is funny. No harm, no foul.

I have had some serious highlights to my week. Little unexpected things that have made my days a little cheerier. It is kind of weird really. Me and Kylie are leaving the office around 3 to drive to Dallas for Labor Day weekend. We have Monday off (thank goodness). We are meeting the other girls there and it should be a fun weekend of hanging out.

Yesterday Kylie and I ate lunch at Tater's, this little diner down the road from our office. Theyhave greta burger and fries and even better corn nuggets. So I went into the bathroom and guess what I saw? An Elvis cut-out facing the toilet. This very cut out, mind you. Yes, folks, eat at Tater's and Elivs will watch you take care of your business. I couldn't stop laughing.

I'm drinking a lot of hot tea these days, and yesterday I broke down and drank coffee since I was wiggin out about deadline and working on about three and a half hours sleep. I need a serious nap right now. I sure hope it is supposed to be warm this weekend becuase I didn't even check the weather, I just packed. Ha. But I think I packed enough for a small army, so I should be good to go. Well, I gotta do stuff now, since I'm at work and all.

Love and other indoor sports,

Listening: Jeff Buckley, Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk