another day, another dime

More like another dime spent. But eh. Soon enough I'll be in the full-time swing of things and it will be gravy.

I should have done more today, but I did not. I guess that is what tomorrow is for.

I stayed up WAY too late last night, but it was okay becuase I had a giant funny conversation with an old friend. I laughed a whole whole lot.

Recently I've felt a little like I've had some indirect hits thrown in my general direction. Like when someone says something in an indirect way in order to make a point with you. And these instances have come from the most unusual places. Places I NEVER expected. I probably shouldn't even think twice about that happening; I'm probably being a little self-absorbed. Whatever man. Mostly it just annoys me. I've also felt as if I'm being humored in some ways, now that a huge life-changing event is occuring in my life. Which is me being insecure more than anything--I hope, but part of me thinks it is me being able to see through the BS. I have felt naieve, like I should see past an "act" if there is an act, like I should be able to see past the wrapping and understand something for what it really is. It is just disconcerting begin to think that you're being played for a fool. Although it is worse not being able to just believe when you really really want to, and you know you probably should, and so then I just feel suspicious of people. Which is stupid and really pretty ridiculous the more I think about it. I can't stand feeling like that, and I know I should just ignore it and give the benefit of the doubt like I always have. But I give the benefit of the doubt and sometimes get slapped in the face and that sucks butt. That annoys me too. Anyways, I just have to take what is said directly to me, and people's actions as the truth. I like living life better than way anyways. I hate feeling like I'm looking over my shoulder expecting someone to decieve me/manipulate me/lie to me/be hateful/let me down. What a miserable existence. I care to have no part in it. That was all random and weird, but something I thought of when I was driving today, so I shared. Eh.

I want to go to sleep early tonight, but I'm not tired at all right now. Hitchell Molt and I finished disc 4 of season 2 of 24 tonight and George Mason died, but he went down with the plane and the nuke so Jack Bauer got to live. Two really good episodes, both rather emotional for 24, but not overly sappy, so it wasn't cheesy really. I liked George and was sad to see him go, but this leaves us with Tony in charge of CTU, and I like him too.

The past two days have been COMPLETELY weird. Tuesday I managed to stick my foot in my mouth big time. I felt like such an idiot. I did my apologizing and I think I made things right. I probably overcompensated a little, but I just felt like a huge dummy and felt really bad about it. Then yesterday....oh yesterday. I should have just sought shelter. I annoyed someone, somewhere and my bad karma was coming back around. Maybe it was from me being a moron on Tuesday. I had some trash in my car (straw wrappers, that sort of thing) and I was leaving to go to the bank and so I just stopped by the dumpster in the apartment parking lot. I toss my stuff in there and step inside my car and see a guy come up to the dumpster and throw in a gun. Yes a GUN. Then he just turned around and walked away, me sitting there the whole time. So I drove off, but curiosity got the best of me and I circled the apartment complex and came back to the dumpster, found something else in my car to throw away and walked over there. SURE ENOUGH, I look in and lying on top is a .177 caliber handgun. So of course I go into CSI mode and use the paper in my hand to pick it up and yup, it was real. I dropped it a little freaked out and it fell to the bottom of the dumpster. But seriously, WHO DOES THAT???? Then I drove through and got some food and was going to sit at the park and eat, so I go to the park and see a firetruck and an ambulance and they are putting someone in the back of the ambulance. Then I went to the mall and was looking at comforters and the entires shelf fell down and everything went everywhere. Seriously.

Reading: The Debutante Divorcee, by Plum Sykes

hello world

The quick version just in case someone reading this doesn't already know: last week I got a job in Oklahoma City. At Tate Publishing. I'll be an editor and I start on July 10. So I have a week a half remaining to pack up my life and move. It is weird and exciting, and I'm just hoping that it all comes together. Kylie and Eric live up there, Kylie actually works at the same place--so that is a huge blessing, and Mike Booker lives there too. So I will know a couple of people and that is good.

I really need to pack today.

Some things that have gone through my head:
Moving is something I haven't done in awhile. 12 years actually. My parents moved away from Abilene, but I haven't yet, and last week I realized that I am leaving home. We all complain about this little town, but it isn't too bad. I'm not scared to leave, that isn't it at all, just sentimental I guess. Abilene has been good to me.

Saying "goodbyes." That is a sensitive thing. I've said "goodbyes" to my bests already, a long time ago, but we say "hello" a lot too, so there is just an understanding, so this isn't about them really. There aren't too many people left in Abilene that I would call close friends of mine, but there are a few and they will be dearly missed. I've already said "goodbye" to one, well two really, and there are a few more coming up in the next few days I think. Sigh. Some "goodbyes" aren't even really that. They are more like "talk to you soons." Then there are the "goodbyes" that you leave and you know the liklihood of you ever seeing/speaking to that person purposefully-in order to further your relationship-is slim to none, but neither of you has a problem with that, so it really isn't a big deal. Those usually happen at times like graduation, with people that you only saw in passing. What is weird is when that happens with someone you thought was a "talk to you soon." But it usually doesn't happen that way with the "talk to you soons" and I don't forsee that happening with any of the people that I have classified as good friends here. Which I like, because those few people here have seen me at one of the weirdest times in my life thus far and they have muddled through with me despite my excessive displays of emotion (I'm pretty sure I've cried more in the past 3 months than in the past 3 years), and have constantly reassured me. I have no idea what role any of these people will play in my life in the future, but the role they have played so far has been significant, despite the short time I have known them (some as few as 5 months--AK!!!). They have seen the absolute best and worst of me (sorry about the latter), we've gone through a lot, but we've stuck for some reason or another, and I can only be thankful for having them put in my life. I didn't always understand in some situations, and maybe I never will, but I know these people are true. Otherwise they'd be long gone. But to those people, and you know who you are, thanks. I could thank you for a lot of things, but this is neither the time nor place, and I've already said too much, so thanks will have to suffice. :)

When you have big news, you realize who the most important people in your life are, because those are the people you tell the soonest, when you may have never considered their place in your life before. It can be startling, comforting and slightly disorienting all at the same time when you realize who your "persons" are.

Okay I had no intention of this becoming emotional and more like an Oscar acceptance speech than a blog. I guess I wasn't quite ready to tackle cleaning out my desk, which I have been dreading. I don't even like having a desk in my room. I never use it. It is storage basically. I'm just not a desk at home type person. Maybe I will keep putting it off until after lunch. I drove by this place downtown yesterday a building on which the only sign was "Garage Sale." It looked like they might have some interesting things, so I thought I would go check it out today. Yeah, that is what I want to do. They had this really neat birdcage in the window (no, MB, I'm not 70 years old) and it maybe totally lame once I actually see it up close, but I thought it might have some potential. And no I wouldn't actually get a bird. Birds as pets have always kind of weirded me out.

Listening: (Whats the Story) Morning Glory?, Oasis

someday you will find me

I should write many things in this space. Not tonight though. My day was: long, hot, sweaty, messy, dirty; I swept, mopped, dusted, scrubbed, made deliveries, laughed with Brooke a lot; ate chips and salsa and queso for dinner at 11 p.m. I've had some great nights recently. I've walked with Andrea and we've pigged out on French Silk Pie, last night I met her at Kadesh devo and saw Jo, Tucker and AB and was so happy I could burst. Literally, I thought my heart was going to explode. A summary of my recent life will come soon I suppose, although, I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this already knows what is going on, but for posterity sake. Or something--there is always something other than the practical to share, and I will share that too.

"There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up."
--Oscar Wilde

Listening: Whatever and Ever Amen, Ben Folds Five

i don't think you're ready for this jelly

23. I am officially 23. Doesn't feel much different than 22, and I think it is funny when people ask "Do you feel older?" I say "Nope. People still think I'm in high school." So I don't really say that but I think it. Today was a good day. It was a pleasant birthday. I had several phone calls, a visit and gorgeous weather. Plus I'm about to splurge on some Ben and Jerry's Black and Tan. I really had no intention of staying up this late (being 1:15 a.m.---yeah I know, not that late by my standards), but I've just been ratting around for awhile.

Signs was on TV tonight, and everytime I see that movie I always get a little creeped out. It isn't even THAT scary, just weird. I love the scene when Mel Gibson walks in and Joaquin Phoenix and the two little kids are sitting on the couch, completely still, with aluminum foil helmets/antenae. I laugh out loud every time.

I still have no idea what the build up around birthdays is about. Some people get really excited about them, some people could care less, I think I'm somewhere in the middle, leaning to the excited side. I just think they are kind of fun and for some reason they always make me think of when I was younger as opposed to thinking about the fact that I'm getting older. Odd, I know. I had a lovely day though. :)

I want to tell you more, just not right now. Now it is time for ice cream and a movie or a book. I can't decide which. What do you think? I'll let you know tomorrow what I decided.

where the air is rarefied

It is birthday eve! Well technically, although I doubt the time on this post will reflect as much, it is officially my 23rd birthday. What? How did I get this far? I don't mean that in the I-have-reckless-behavior sense, although at times it is applicable, but I just mean how did I get this far and not notice? It seems at some point on some annual occasion it is inevitable for people to get nostalgic, wondering where the time has gone and what they have done with it. We'll save that for another day. Everyone always asks you what your plans are for your birthday. I don't really have any, but that is okay. It is my first birthday not to be around family or lots of friends, which is a little weird in theory for me, but not so weird in practice. I just mean that to say it doesn't bother me so much as I thought it might. Birthdays are funny like that. Sort of a weird "holiday," but always enjoyable. I'm pretty sure I'm going to like mine. It will be fun. I just know it.

Today I got a pedicure and the nail lady was funny. So was her husband, they were both really excited about the World Cup match between the US and Italy. When she handed me my shoes she said "long feet," and I just said "yeah, I know." It was funny, usually total strangers don't remark on the size of your feet, regardless of how large they are. She is funny though, usually our conversations consist of two or three word questions or remarks that she sends in my general direction with a giant smile to have me respond in two or three words with a giant smile.

I also rented two movies, neither of which I have watched yet, and bought two books. I'm a book-aholic. I finished one of them tonight, which I didn't mean to do, but I just got caught up. One of the plotlines is so easily identified with for me that I just couldn't not read it. It was weird. Totally weird. I'll share some the high points some time. Just uncanny how paralell it is.

The sky was a pretty gray tonight. And it rained. It smelled so good outside, I love summer rain.

Oh and a Happy Birthday to Emily!

don't worry baby, everything will turn out alright

---from one of my all time favorite Beach Boys songs.

I really don't have much to say today. I sweated like a pig while I was at work today. I went walking, I sat outside in the storm and watched the lightning until the wind changed direction and I started getting drenched. Then I just listened to the rain. Please see the new Dodge Caliber commercial-I laughed so hard.

I was feeling silly tonight and had a ton of time, so I took a bunch of online quizzes. I think they are dang funny, I took quite a few--they are addicting!! It was sort of like a sleepover where you take those goofy quizzes in Seventeen...only I was the only one quizzing. Here are some of my favorites; some funny, some sorta true, some just ridiculous. So read if you will, laugh (I did) and enjoy this ridiculous insight (?). If nothing else, please find out what kind of donut you are. This may very well be my most useless blog yet, but entertaining to me. :)

What European City Should You Live In?
You belong in Dublin.
Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.
You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What Time of Day are You?
You are Midnight.
You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

How do you live your life?
You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How are you in love?
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Your Stripper Song Is: (Um, whoa. What?? Racy lyrics dude.)
Closer, by NIN
When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

The Muppet Personality Test.
You are Fozzie Bear.
"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

What Food Are You?
You are French Food.
Snobby yet ubiquitous.
People act like they understand you more than they actually do.

What is Your Love Style?
Your love style is agape.
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What kind of donut are you?
You are a Boston Creme Donut.
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

Watching: Family Guy

i can turn your gray sky blue

So this thing happens to me. And it is weird. After I am in the car driving somewhere (like from town to town) I have this enormous amount of energy once I get to point B. On occasion I'm drained and bored of being in the car, but usually I'm just rarin' to go, as was the case today. And usually I have absolutely no outlet for this energy, as was the case today, therefore I get slightly annoyed that I'm actually excited about life in general and have nothing to do with that great amount of excitement. I could always unpack, but where is the fun in that? Either way, I always live through it to see another day, and search for another outlet. Although I did get to experience some 24 this evening, so I was able to live vicariously through the awesomeness of Jack Bauer.

Next, I'm trying to figure out why in the world my apartment smells like reheated brisket. I guess one of the neighbors was cooking, but it is late, who cooks brisket so late? Sick.

Third, I am apparently overqualified to work at Victoria's Secret. Found that out today. So...add that to another job-ish thing that was completely fruitless last week in Lubbock (the one I talked about just being so annoyed about that I didn't even bother to explain), and, well here I am, every kind of unemployed. I would like a "big kid" job, really, I would, but while I'm in the process of finding said job, I've got to have some source of income. Sigh. Where the heck am I in this whole thing? I'm trying hard not to get down about it, but after the whole Victoria's Secret thing, it is kind of hard not to. ..

I would like an adventure. Going on an adventure and want some adventerous company? Just bring me along, I will make myself useful, I promise. I will earn my keep. I can read a map, keep the car clean, do laundry when clothes run out...see the possibilities are endless. So know of anyone who needs a mapreader/makeshift maid???? Okay, so maybe no one needs one of those, but maybe someone out there wants to go on a day adventure with me? It could be great. Totally great. You and me, lets go. Not right now though, I have a toe cramp.

I just know some things. And I know I need patience. That is one of the things I know. I also know I need an open mind, now more than ever, and an open heart. I should probably open my eyes a little too and get my head out of the clouds or something supremely cliche like that.

Some Hawaiian Punch and bedtime.

it ain't over till the fat lady sings

I heard "Hangin' Tough" on the radio today. The title of this blog is dedicated to The New Kids on the Block. The quasi rapping of the song intermittent with laughter and "oooooh o0000h oooooh oh oh. we're rough!" is about all you could heard for three and a half minutes while I was driving. It was so great. I'm pretty sure that made my day.

Housesitting is over. I sure sat well. Ugh. I think I could probably turn that into a profession (a very unhealthy one), although I told my parents tonight that I was going to become a pirate and sail the open seas instead of referring to myself as unemployed. Think how much better that looks on a resume, instead of a gaping amount of time with no employment you have "world travel." I mean if you can swashbukcle okay then there has got to be pretty substantial room for advancement in piracy. Just a thought.

I'm pretty proud of the way I have handled myself recently. This sounds completely arrogant, I know, but go with me for a minute. I think in the recent past, I have not handled my emotions very well. I know I haven't--making life more complicated. In the past few weeks I have attempted to take a more proactive approach to addressing problems/situations/emotions/gastrointestinal issues (kidding about the last one). There is still work to be done I think, but I've made some progress in some areas where I had been lacking before. Which is nice I suppose. I am trying to take some things with a grain of salt, which creates a bit of a tension, for me especially when I feel that there should be more of a mutual accountability for words/actions/emotions/whatever, but I'm searching out the balance, and I think that has become the more important issue. Not me worrying about what is "supposed" to go on so much as me taking steps to make sure that I'm holding up my end of the deal. Even though I'm not exactly sure what my job description is sometimes. This sounds weird, but I think I'm trying to care less. Okay, not care less per se but care about the things that matter. And sometimes it takes something crazy weird to make you have a "come to Jesus" moment, but then wrinkly things start getting ironed out okay. And maybe it is more like your favorite white linen skirt that will never NOT have wrinkles becuase that is just what linen does, but you finally think "it is going to be okay" and you can hear that and really believe it, and you feel a little wary because you want to believe it; you've wanted to believe it for awhile, and tried but it always turned out more wrinkly and yuck so you never really did, but you do now. You are just pretty sure believing it is what you should do, and that is all you can do and you just trust that you are doing the best you can. All of that to say I feel productivity in my life and I am thankful for it, it is an answered prayer really.

I don't know where that came from. :) That paragraph made me thirsty.

Reading: The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

lets rearrange

Day 5:

Pretty much the same as day 4. Only I drove around for half an hour looking for a mailbox that had a late pickup time. I finally found the post office. Then it rained. Hard. Really hard. The kind of rain that actually sounds a little like hail. It happened all of the sudden, then it was pretty much over. It was nice to listen to though once I got back to the house. I've been cleaning and doing laundry and I'm wating for stuff in the dryer that is why it is 3:30 and I'm sitting here killing time.

Other than that I paroused both Facebook and MySpace for ridiculous amounts of time becuase I was bored and there are pictures to look at. Ha. Something interesting. A special on Vh1 called "America: The Drug Years" was tonight. Interesting and funny at points too. It is a documentary with different scientists, cultural critics, and historians. They showed clips from films made during the early 60s warning kids about the dangers of marijuana. One depicted a "pot party" with "youngsters" and followed the story of one kid who "put his dignity and future on the chopping block" when he accepted a joint. Clips from Reefer Madness, the infamous marijuana warning film of which I'd already actually seen some of (random I know), were used and they are so out there--this woman going maniacal playing the piano while smoking pot. Crazy. It also talked about how drugs like LSD became highly recreational after the CIA began to fear that it would be used by the Russian government as a truth serum of sorts. So the government started doing private studies. Nutty. That was my random information share for the day. You should watch it if you like documentaries about the evolution of culture, etc.

I just sounded like a huge nerd, but thats okay. I need some water.

Watching: Last Holiday

i'm tired of running, lets walk for awhile

Day 4:

It is official that I have gotten too much sleep when I toss and turn all night. This is probably the only time in my life that I will feel constantly rested so I suppose I should enjoy the vitality, but I like being able to sleep when it is dark outside, heck I like being able to sleep when it is light outside, but not sleeping at night=no fun.

I cleaned today. My grandmother said she'd pay me extra if I cleaned house since her cleaning lady's husband decided he wanted to be a missionary and they took a Winnebago to Mexico last week. I only got part of the way done, and I'm pretty sure I nearly died cleaning the jacuzzi bathtub. It is really wide and deep, and it is funny how slippery things get when you have sprayed them down with bathroom cleaner and you are running water to scrub everything off. But it was only a near catastrophe.

There is a cat who keeps walking around and sort of growling/hissing. Incessantly. I've gotten mad at him, but he doesn't seem to care. Obviously you can't really scold cats the way you scold dogs, but good grief, wouldn't you get tired of growling all day long? I wonder if he has a hairball?? The friendly cat thought it would be funny to crawl in the kitchen cabinets tonight while I was putting things away--don't worry he is out now. When he got in there I tried grabbing him, the last thing I got was his tail and then I thought "that probably isn't very good for the cat..." so I let him go for fear of fracturing or de-tailing the poor guy.

Now I am listening to Sigur Ros. Last night I was thinking of how I missed my friends and doing random things in the night with them. Just whatever our little hearts desired. I thought of that becuase I was up in the middle of the night thinking how fun it would be to do something silly.

Coming attractions: Reflections on movies, specifically those aimed at the "teeny-boppers" or romantic comedies or basically any movie with some sort of romantic subplot.

Watching: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

i think you're crazy, just like me

Day 3

Just as uneventful as yesterday. Except I let myself sleep in as long as I wanted. Which was quite nice. Now I am drowning myself in water because I think I have drank too much Coke today and not enough water and it has made me feel ew. I haven't set off the alarm yet, and last night was less scary than the night before. But still a little weird. I had to force myself to roll over facing away from the door to the bedroom and just close my eyes. I think I am secretly worried that someone is going to break through the skylights in the living room and rappell down and steal me or take all the furniture or something. Hahaha.

Yesterday I was at the ATM machine, as I was pulling away the guys in the car behind me cat-called me. I thought "you can't even see my face you weirdo, all you can see is sunglass and my hand as I reach for my receipt. you've got to be kidding me." It was funny though, I laughed out loud.

I took a jacuzzi bath tonight after I ate pizza and watched Runaway Jury, which was fun. I'm not sure what I will do tomorrow. I went to the mall today, and usually I love the mall, any mall really, but today I walked around the entire thing in less than half an hour and was totally bored of it. What is wrong with me??? Ha, kidding. But really, I never get bored of the mall. I guess I just know I don't need anything so I would feel completely guilty about buying anything.

Daily fact: 98 degrees was only the second all white group to be signed by Motown Records, after they were signed, Motown moved them to Harlem where they were instrucuted to join a church choir in order to increase their soul.

do you ever think that you might be searching for something you already have? just something for anyone/everyone to consider I suppose.

i'm awake, you're still sleeping

Day 2:

Well, besides being decidedly more uneventful than day 1, day 2 was fine. I got up unusually early for me but then proceeded to move my lazy self from my giant bed to a cush chair in th living room where I binged on Making the Band 2. Which did absolutely nothing for the way I felt, making me feel more lazy, watching these girls dance their butts off for hours at a time. I was completely jealous, and have fully decided to rekindle my passion for dance ASAP. Are you with me? If not, you should be, it is awesome. I would do a little sequence for you, but you can't see me, so you will just have to imagine it and love it, and live with the knowledge that next time we are together we will dance ourselves into a frenzy.

Though I was in a good chair today, my favorite chair in the whole world, unfortunately (?), does not face the TV. I was tempted to move it today. It is one of those chair and halfs that are perfect for just about everything. I love them so much, and this one is just great. Instead one of the cats (the friendly one) slept in it all day. But at least he kept me company sort of, even though he was comatose. All but one of the others run away from me--seriously! Am I that scary?? I don't think so. They are just wusses. I'm totally an animal person too and I'm getting rejected. It is tough on a girl.

What else? I was only borderline disappointed (but more annoyed) about a job thing today. It is dumb to the point that I'm not sure I care to explain it becuase it just annoys me more than anything. And the friendly cat just turned his back on me and is sleeping facing the wall. Really, am I that unbearable? Haha.

I was scared silly last night, so I stayed up super late reading. I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Even though I was locked in the house and totally secure, I managed to freak myself out. I'm one of those people who will sit in a room and plan my escape route with different catostrophic scenarios in mind. And I also add up the numbers in street addresses to equal a single digit. There I confessed! My two obsessive compulsive tendancies. Please love me anyways? But I think tonight will be better. I'm super tired (from staying up so late last night I assume) so that should help. Tomorrow is Saturday, I don't know what I will do. Probably a lot of the same, but I may go wander around Kingsgate shopping center, it is a fun one, or maybe go to the mall? But there will be zillions of people at the mall tomorrow and I'm not sure I want to deal with it, so I might save that for Sunday afternoon and/or Monday.

Watching: Wedding Crashers

you are the only one who needs to know

Adventures in Housesitting: Day 1

Well, 24 hours have passed and I have completed my first day of housesitting. Fairly uneventful. Last night when I got here, I was briefed in everything housesit-ish. Such as the proper use of the house alarm, important phone numbers, etc. I'm worried I will accidentally set off the alarm at some point. We'll see. So far I'm 1 for 1. But I think I'm going to enjoy the time that I'm here. Only one of the cats, Dash, has been very social so far. One of vie. Five cats, I had forgotten there were that many, but I really don't notice becuase they are shy.

I feel a little like I'm staying in a hotel. I have 4 beds to choose from and 4 other rooms in which I can sit in big chairs and read books and I can take jacuzzi baths and watch big screen TV. Last night I slept in one of the king-sized beds. I was in my own kingdom! That is the greatness of having a king-sized bed when you are married, I will have my kingdom, you will have yours, but we can be diplomatic about things. Ha. Although, right now, I have decided that if I am single forever I won't own a king-sized bed, it is too lonely, queen is good enough for a person my size. I like it for "vacation" and I like all the pillows, but I have a feeling that in a few days I will think a sleepover would be really fun too.

Today was all about catching up. Had lunch with an old friend, ran errands with another and ate dinner with another. Whew. I'm all socialized out! But it was good and fun, I hadn't seen any of those friends in a long time and it is always nice to catch up with people. I also went to Barnes and Noble and bought 3 books. I love book buying, it is one of my favorite things.

I was also thinking how great it would be to have friends come visit. How fun would that be huh??? Super fun. I know! So who wants to come visit me? I'm at 64th and Memphis. You should come. It will be fun, we can sleep in, play, just have a good old time hanging out. I would love that. We could go paint ceramics, go to the OMNI theatre, bum around. Sounds good to me. What do you say?

Fact: Syracuse University offered a class in 2001 entitled Queen Bitch 101: The Life and Times of Lil' Kim. The curriculum was focused how Lil' Kim and her openness with her sexuality affected popular culture. She even lectured to the class.

Uh-oh, here comes Dash, hes coming to check me out and be friendly. Oh just kidding, he passed me up. It is about letting go and allowing things to happen, it is about trying something you normally wouldn't and finding happiness.

Watching: Gladiator

ha.

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

--Elbert Hubbard

I just thought this was funny. :)

little heartbreaker

Yesterday and today have been weird. Those kinds of days that are really cool, then something hits you and turns it all upside down, then it is better again. That is why they have been weird. Like I said in a previous blog, the little hiccups should be straightened out soon enough.

I got to eat lunch with Becca yesterday when she stopped here on her way to Austin. That was fun as always. I have drank so much water today, I feel water-logged. But water is good for you, so I guess it is okay. I should drink more water every day anyways. I had another Sex and the City marathon yesterday as well. Then I stayed up too late again. Go figure.

I have this feeling. Something big is going to be decided soon. Well a few things big. I am leaving on Wednesday at some point and will be gone for awhile. I hope some things are decided before then, and I know that a few things will not be decided until after I return. And maybe decided is not the right word, but neither is resolved and neither is figured out, so we'll stick with decided for lack of a thesaurus. I'm kind of anxious, but I am just more "ready" than anything else. Ready probably is not the right word, I'm not really sure what would be best. Ummm, yeah. That and there are just some things that need to be taken care of, not exactly loose ends, yeah, not loose ends at all, just a little reassurance and clarification. No, not even clarification, mostly the reassurance and just getting back on track. Not any particular track. Any track really. Could I have a few more vocabulary issues tonight? :)

Did you know that Gene Simmons was Liza Manelli's manager at one point? Weird.

Watching: Something New

somewhere only we know

For dinner I had pizza. Now I am sick. But I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. I worked today and took a random mid-evening nap and have watched about 3 movies on TV since then. Tomorrow I'm cleaning my house, like it has been never been cleaned before, or at least like it has never been cleaned in the past 3 weeks. I was going to last night, but I ended up staying up too late talking with a friend. But that is okay. There is tomorrow for the cleaning.

So. I've been writing play-by-play posts. Hopefully they have been nothing but pleasure for those of you who tire of the other kind. For the first time, well ever, I'm tired of writing. Talk with me? Please?

Things are going along fine. Recently there has been a hiccup or two, but its going to be okay... I think it will be settled better in a few days. I would like it to at least. I've not been over-thinking in the least (be proud for me). Some things are clear, some things are still a bit cloudy, but isn't that the way it always is? But suprisingly I think I know. :) Unusual huh? Take note, it may not happen again for awhile. ha.

The funniest things can happen in the quiet times, but is it in those quiet times that we really are being true? Those quiet times when nothing else seems to matter, it is only before/after the quiet time that we are reminded of everything else. So which is the truer...the quiet or the before/after the quiet? At least that is how it seems anyways. Ah yes, but it seems to be all about the search for truth, ja know?

Something I was reminded of today at work, it is all about perspective. Oh that and I learned that one of the largest gun distributers in the nation operates here in Abilene, though apparently not that many people know of the place, its an unmarked building or something like that. So clandestine. I'm pretty sure he's banking, either way...it sure seemed that way at least.

Everyone MUST see the pop and lock pepto bismol commercial. It is the best I've seen yet.

I've been cheery for awhile now. Nice.

lets fly away

It seems like I have read/heard several things today that have made me go "what..." and then laugh hysterically. I love things like that. Things so totally random. Well and then some of the other things were so incredibly below the belt/cynical that you just have to laugh at the irony and remember that laughing is awesome. Oh man.

I put a faux finish on the men's bathroom at work today. So basically I spent all day in the bathroom with incredibly strong smelling paint. It didn't smell normal, it was like paint on steroids. I'm cheery. 16 days until my birthday. Although it is not a big exciting number or anything, but it is a birthday, and it is fun to be excited about birthdays, it makes me feel like a little kid. I am sharing with dads all over the world this year.

Here is something to look into: "King of blue eyed soul meets chairman of the board." That is the tagline for "Bolton Swings Sinatra" a new CD by Michael Bolton. I'm not joking either.